I am just the the way I am..

2009-01-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

alright, my fault for spilling all these things out publicly, but please, i did not even state gender not because i don't dare to but i do not want people to guess who is the latter so easily. whatever u think, but seriously, the past times spent with u, really were great. things can never be the same but i don't want to continue this anymore.
scold me a hypocrite for all i care, because I know, and my real friends all know, that i am not.

also, many thanks to LIN jie and WENWEN together with mr blur for being by my side. (:
thanks lots lots!

2009-01-28T05:48:00.000-08:00

like i'm not brave, but everyone knows who i'm refering to anyway.
and for your information, I am not the one who observed your eating habits and hygiene, but people who u said are your good friends told me. how do they know? not that they observe you on purpose, but u are just sitting beside them, always.
don't believe me? GO AND ASK THOSE PEOPLE WHOM U CLAIM BELONGS TO YOUR CLIQUE, MISS. THEY ARE THE INFORMATION SUPPLIER. LIKE I AM SO DARN FREE TO KNOW AND DIG YOUR INFORMATION OUT.

and u admitted that u are the latter in my entry, i did not even specify any gender even. get yoru facts right, now who is the HYPOCRITE?

2009-01-24T02:36:00.001-08:00

wow, i couldn't believe my eyes after reading somebody's entry in the blog.

the incident(s) that insinuated a particular person to blog about all arises all because of her own attitude and actions that made people feel that he/she no longer deserves to be in the clique anymore.

but of course, will u allow someone who consistently backstab u behind your back but treated u as if the two of u are twins infront of u to be your friend? a somebody who used unscrupulous method to get back on others but dare not admit he/she is the mastermind of everything? such a sly fox within the clique isn't something everybody wants.

nobody said he/she cried because of us, in fact we do know clearly u cried is not because of us since we did not even waste a single second to bother about u at all, let alone make u cry.
next, very good, the hatred is being reciprocated. they girls and guys had been waiting for this moment for many gazilion months. ought to thank u for your isolation from us. the whole of 08B3 thank u too. i do not wish to be such a meanie but that's exactly what people had been telling me how much they couldn't stand u. we did not THINK that u are speaking tales about us, we KNOW about it. if u don't want others to know, don't do that in the first place.
and of course, how can somebody who is always sucking up and sticking to them like a leech no matter how much they hate it suddenly said that he/she outcasted himself/herself? but anyways, if pride matters matter much to you, fine, YOU outcasted YOURSELF, don't put the blame on us then. do anything and everything solo, and don't go sticking to other people, all of us are sick of hearing people complaining what to do to make u stop sticking to them.

somebody who knows about these things will surely know that the person did all these is just trying to attract attention but somehow, failed. nobody bothered about her except teacher when he/she cried.

want to plot a perfect story, please use your brain to think, even if your brain is just the size of a pea. yes i admit i'm cruel and mean, but everything happen for a reason, and u're the reason this entry exists.

p.s. mas selamat ESCAPED and not KIDNAPPED. i never really read the news and i knew it, or rather, who doesn't ? tsktsk, the one who need counselling aren't anyone of us (: in any case, u've really performed very well, as a clown, since we've had a great time laughing at the mockery u've made. thanks again!

2009-01-22T07:41:00.000-08:00

cleanliness and hygiene made up a big part in my daily lifestyle. perhaps due to the culture as practised at home, or to be more specific, my mother who is a cleanliness freak, i became a almost cleanliness freak myself, which is the reason why i am a worthy "tissue girl".

packets of tissue papers could be found within my belongings, usually at the outermost pocket of my bagpack as it enables me to reach out to it easily. slight stains from food or drinks, speck of dirt is an eyesore to me, and tissue paper is the savior. frustrations had been boiling inside of me for quite some time and finally a chance to release it all. thank God there's an invention of blog.

back to hygiene, most likely it is my own personal problem with dirty stuffs, that i tend to wipe myself clean when in contact with it, but it also came with another story of my childhood which relate to my oversensitive skin when i was a young girl back then. dirt and oily stuffs or anything unclean never fails to make a 180 degree turn to my mood.

sadly, someone in my class has a very bad hygiene lifestyle which reflects herself/himself in a very negative light. the actions she/he did will not just scare off hygiene freaks but an average person will feel disgusted as well.

what is the first thing people will do after eating finger food or tidbits? yes, it's either wash it or wipe it with tissue papers before it come into contact with other things and making them dirty. however, this person doesn't do that, after eating (usually in class), she/he just continue to do her/his stuffs as if the hands are clean, and carry on eating thereafter. it isn't hard to imagine how dirty cum oily her/his items and belongings will be i believe, which is why not many people dared to go near her/ him. eeeeeeks, please clean yourself up, thank u (:

2008-12-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

The loneliness of midnight
The noisiness of silence
The burden of being wide awake
At this timing of the day
Started me on this entry.

Whew, it's been a long time since i last playing around with words and composing poems. Part of my favourite pasttime during which i did out of boredom during the boring lessons conducted by equally listless teachers who teach for the sake of teaching and not educating.
Trapped in the small classrooms without freedom of our own during lesson times. The feeling is equilavent of a bird being caged in a cage with minimal space for movement.
In such circumstances, I'd no other choice but to play with words and eventually composing this and that which i usually forget about the next moment. At least it's been my buddy and kept me awake during lessons :D
What on earth am i actually blogging? ._.

2008-10-14T01:54:00.001-07:00

Pre-u 1 promotional exams is over for approximately a week now, it's time to go back to school but most of us are still in holiday mood although our holiday has only a span of one week. One week holidays can indeed have a great influence in our daily lives and curriculum huh. haha.

For the past few weeks, i dare to say i really had been working very hard to the extreme of burning midnight oil and consistent studying, but i guess A level standard examinations are really totally different from that of O level, consistent studying for weeks but does not ensure u even a pass in tertiary, but last minute studying for secondary school (excluding those from integrated programme of course, those are mainly genius already ._.) and u can safely get promoted with an ace for most subjects. The transitions i dare say, is really too great for me to get used and adjust to the changes even after months.

If only i can turn back the clock, i will not be as pathetic as i am now. If only i have more courage and confidence, i am sure to excel. If only there is if only, everything will change. But learn to face reality is also part and parcel of life, we can't change reality but we can change ourselves to adapt to changes which is often very hard. This is something i learnt from church (:

Anyway, what's done is done, exams are over and it'll soon be time to realise the report slips. All i want now is just to get promoted, teachers may not see that i have really changed and working very hard, and ignoring that person who had always get me into trouble, but i do know it very well. I have done my best (:

2008-09-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

It's time to post a new entry now! Otherwise this blog would be deemed as dead. After so much incidents that happened in school, things are starting to turn for the better. Many thanks to people who made the right decisions and doing the right things. Although these incidents usually does not involve me directly or doesn't involve me at all (in the beginning), not only the two parties will get hurt but also people around them as this is a school whereby people make friends with one another, with people caring for you. You are hurt = people around you are hurt, this is what true friends are for. (:

Thank God i've true friends who are great, be it in school, out of school or church, thanks for being by my side throughout the storms and dark clouds that hovered on top of me!

Next, I've finally at least started revising! Though it's meager but at least it's a start, I'll keep on bucking up and not lose the motivation. Although my mid year examinations was not well done, or in fact very badly done, but I want to thank kaiyuan for studying with me almost everyday and sacrificing her time to meet at bishan, thanks kaiyuan (:

At current stage, must thank that terrapin and fish, together with nanny cow for studying yesterday with me. (: THANK UUUUUUUUU :D

2008-08-03T06:19:00.001-07:00

forced to watch money not enough with mom and edmund, together with my sister yesterday night. shall not dwell on the details but go straight to the story of the movie.

due to my laziness (again), i shall just point out what i've learnt or rather what the movie really is about. it's mainly about singapore, the citizens and the government. due to the high living standards here, with erp charges, taxes and everything, many people has little left from the income after paying those taxes, however despite all these, the living standards have indeed improved drastically. the movie has also shown that in this realistic world, money seems to be almost everything, even if it means to be killing your own parents, the one who brought u up with everything they had, the one who always tried to give u the best ever. people only think and care about themselves, because of money, citizens are becoming self-centred, to save themselves, their loved ones are sacrificed. and yes, the gov is being criticised but i hope that the gov will try to improve with the criticisms, otherwise, it'll reflect the image of singapore gov that they cannot withstand critics even know they claimed that singaporeans have the freedom of speech. IF CRITICISMS FAIL TO KILL U, U TEND TO LEARN FROM IT AND IMPROVE TO BE EVEN BETTER. the critics happened for a reason and sadly, it's true. reflect.

2008-07-18T02:42:00.000-07:00

The world, the reality is scary. Instead of being helpful to gain joy and sense of fulfilment which was the traditional way of being happy, it seems like people gained joy by backstabbing people whom they claimed to be their buddies, doing hurtful things behind their back. Is this the latest trend of gaining happiness? I hope not, because not only the two parties are involved, many others are affected indirectly by the childish game played as well.

As youths now, or rather, young ADULTS, why are there still so many similar cases of "friending you, don't friend you" game occuring currently? Ain't people of our age old enough to think? Not only for yourself but others as well? It's seems like people who are like that are not only childish, but their brains are damaged to a horrible extent I suppose. Otherwise, it would be that these people are born with a heart that is made of cold stones. I've no other possibilities of why people at the age of 17 and above can still act the way they did, unbelieveable.

The " game " of friending and not friending people though are similar as those in primary school, the current "game" played is different too, as it's more cruel and the people playing are specialised actors and actresses. Many are even opera artistes as they can change their masks to fast that you would never have realised it! Can these people stop playing the game and concentrate on studies? Fail so many subjects still keep playing, enough of it.

I'm just a spectator or rather an audience from the above game/show mentioned above, and all these are just my personal views and I've seen enough of it and thus decided to voiced out. It's stuffy in my heart to be bearing all these. No intention of pin pointing anyone, thank you.

2008-07-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

u gave me nothing but sense of betrayal and feeling of being abandoned.

我不是偶像剧里“命中注定我爱你”的便利贴女孩。当你需要我的时候才找我，有你那条哈巴狗时就狠狠把握甩开。在家里，妈妈是这样的，在学校，你却也这样对待我。我上辈子是不是造孽太多了，说已这是我的惩罚？尽管如此，但对现在的我公平吗？难道我不能有一个爱我的家和诚心对待我的朋友吗？

这世界真的好残酷，也许这就是所谓的现实吧。越相信周围的人就会被背叛的更深。10年前的历史即将重演了吗？我真的很害怕，但我还能做些什么的？

2008-06-29T09:01:00.001-07:00

People around us can be classified into 4 categories, namely the strangers, acquaintance, friends followed by close friends. As for who belongs to which category will depend on who the person is.

To some people, don't know should say that they are naive or stupid, had been backstabbed and betrayed by people whom they called close friends. However instead of shunning them to prevent futher hurts inflicted unto them, they still treat it as though nothing happened and continue being good friends to them and bear the pain all by themselves. To me, this is a task which I find it impossible to do. For the current me, no more vengeance for me but I'll leave teh person who harm me and cast him/her out to acquaintance or even strangers category. This is the maximum I'm able to do. When the person read my blog, I'm sure she knows I'm talking about her. 你是伟大还是愚蠢，我也不知道，可是我尊重你的决定。

Being a good friend or bosom friend isn't just being there when they need you. It's also taking care of them whenever you are able to and prevent any harm that could be waiting in future. As a good friend to someone, I tried to warn her about people around her, but everything falls on deaf ears and I've even received the cold treatment from her. This definitely is something which I've done for the first time in my life, trying to care for my friends to such extent that I'm seriously hurt emotionally. I do not expect anything in return, just hope that she will be safe and make the correct decision. I may have been harsh at times, but as my good friend, I suppose she knows me well enough, but I am starting to doubt. Is it really understand who and how I really am, or just looking at me superficially on the surface? 我只能为你祷告，但愿你最终会做出正确的选择。Afterall, that's the least I can do as your friend. JYJY. (:

2008-06-22T07:02:00.001-07:00

Okay now, I shall revive my blog once again. STOP saying my blog is dead as it's a non-living thing and had never been alive :D

Went for service today, FINALLY, and well, the disaster in sichuan really touched my heart and though people have said that chinese are the most cruel earthlings that ever exists, the disaster and teams sent out to help proved the likewise (:

Despite the hardships endured, the shabby living conditions, the danger of mudslides and another earthquake, the helpers, persisted on and remained and help with the building new schools and relieving the pains of people, be it emotionally or physically. It's equilavent to fulfilling the great commandment, love your neighbour as yourself. (:

P.S. gazillion thanks to Dylon for the a/c book! (:

next up, I've composed something out of the book of Psalms.
may readers enjoy and comment on any improvements that could be made. (:

Every single day, I will bless Your name
And every moment, I will praise Your name
I will extol You, my God and friend
For You are good and never fails.

When my heart within me is distressed
crushed and persecuted, dwelling in darkness
I cry out for You Lord
My soul longs for You like a thirsty land
Your love came down like water
Quenching all my hunger
My heart is restored and my strength is renewed.

I will praise You with all my heart
I will worship toward Your holy temple
Made bold with strength in my soul
With You, O Lord,
I fear nothing!

..dedicated to the Highest of all (:

2008-05-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

Ups and downs are inevitable, just my luck that this period of time is at the rough patches. In studies, family relations, relations with classmates seems to have worsen. Moreover, my prayer life has turned cold. I'm almost giving up, just that I'm hung at the edges of the cliff, dangling.

My studies. Be it any subjects, everything that the teachers have taught seems to never stay in my brain. The information just comes out like that. Yes it is my own problem as I've not been hardworking enough and thus I've decided! I want to have a consistant study hours of my own and a balance is made with every subject. At pre-u year 1, I MUST at least have a pass and to promote to year 2 next year (:

As for relations with friends and family, all I can do is to mould my character, and also to pray. Most important of all is that I MUST discipline myself to do all these. I had failed in many areas of life due to laziness and lack of motivation. THIS MUST BE CHANGED.

just a reminder : i'm here not to please earthlings, if anyone dislike me, feel free to for i can do nothing but just remember this yourself, no one is perfect, u yourself have your flaws so u are in no position to dislike others. yes there may be negative feelings but there is still no need to hurt anyone because of your own personal feelings. if this happen to me or my friends again, i am so going to confront u and make sure the reason for your action is acceptable. no personal attacks are meant. we'll be stuck in this school for 3 years together, let's resolve all differences and make life a better instead of a bitter one for everyone. ty.

2008-04-15T05:48:00.000-07:00

Went to Millennia with a cheery mood, out came a gloomy me.
Gone were the days, filled with laughter and joy,
Substitute with feelings of emptiness.

Feelings of betray overwhelmed me,
remember what i've learnt
and tried to forget everything,
starting everyday with a new memory.
However, history always repeat itself.

There's a limit to tolerance,
please do not push me further.
Reaching it's maximum
i've no idea how long i can last.

2008-04-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

I've finally turned 17 today! A mixture of feelings just came to me. Happiness yet fear, happy that I am older and had lived one more year longer, and also the fear of growing up. The emotions are just too complicated to be phrased into words especially when my vaocabulary words are very limited.

Whilst reminiscing the memories of my birthday in secondary school, tears just flowed down as if the tap is spoilt. To say the truth, I found it rather hard to adjust into the new school and environment. Thank God there's Xinyu with me. Otherwise I really don't know what to do. Uneasiness just won't leave me. Without the clique from cchy, everything is just not in place, like an uncomplete piece of puzzle.

17th birthday is not bad. I had no hope that people would remember my birthday, but nevertheless, so many people remembered! Thanks friends (:

Special thanks to : yunru, RUIQI, brother derrick, YUZHEN, XIUXIAN, hongwei, willie, andrew, XINYU, PEIWEN, CURRY SAUCE, guowei, limmin, liqi, SHERYL, yongqiang, lisa, YANXIN, yoonghin, JIAEN, miao korkor, yihan korkor, yenteng, yankei, aunty alice, jessica, HOYIN, NICHOLAS, sharry, josephine, grandson kaiyuan, MI08B3, huixin, chayin, ziting, dorothy, brevian, MOM, DAD, weiling, malik, jiamin, nabilah, weechong, ANGELIN, kianboon, jonathan laoda, lipyong korkor, saiful.

that's all i think. if i missed out anything, please tell me! (:

in short, friends make my day (:

2008-03-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

I really felt blessed to be born in Singapore. (:
every country has it's good and bad points, but why are there always people complaining?
i really just can't stand those typical singaporeans. just little minor and trival things they must complain. what good will complains do them? it will just reflect them as being rash, impatient and uncouth bunch of people! i doubt this is the image anyone want's to be known to have.

The government is always doing it's utmost for Singaporeans, why can't they feel it? just a small hiccup occurs and complains would flood in. instead of getting flared up, the government patiently tried to solve the problems. why can't those complain-ers think of the situation from this angle? what makes them think every must be perfect? for goodness. this is a realistic world, not wonderland! WAKE UP. instead of complaining all the time, why not make full use of your time and contribute to the society instead?

2008-02-29T08:06:00.000-08:00

It's been yet another long time ago since i've last updated.

The days seems to pass by so fast but yet so slow. A bit of contradiction but yet it's true. Good memories passed by in a wink of an eye, but that is so not for unhappy things that happened. Ignore all unhappiness and focus on the future (:

A new school, a new start. It's not easy to adapt to a new school that is not exactly near home. Waking up so early is almost a challenge to me, let alone having such a long journey to and fro school. Everything was a challege. Thank God i managed to make some new friends and are especially kind and warm, thus gone were my fear and uneasiness.

2008-02-14T06:10:00.000-08:00

Is scolding and being a wet blanket your only forte? All u ever did is scold and scold. Have u ever spare a thought for my feelings? Given this circumstance, I really wish I'm born without a mother! Who needs a mother who is so money-minded, self-centred and materialistic? My answer is NOBODY, especially ME!

Every now and then, u would simply said I'm useless and would only do u more trouble than good. How the hell do u want me to satisfy u? I'm not born with a golden spoon but neither am i under any obligation to treat u as if u are empress! OVER MY DEAD BODY. Quick and fiery tempered, who did I inherit from? YOU. If u really love to scold so much, please just aim me and not my entire LIM family! Who the fuck are u to say I've got bad genes? Hello. I've got your genes too. YOUR own entire TAY family is full of nothing but scumbags! U have no rights to humiliate me. And so, if u've nothing better to say, JUST SHUT UP.

2008-01-12T07:19:00.000-08:00

If i can choose, i will choose to be dust.
If i have a choice, i'd rather be a robot.
Without emotions, and no feelings.
Can feel neither pain nor heartache.

I want to be fred from sufferings and happiness,
As happiness will eventually destroy me
and sufferings hurt me.
If i do not have a heart that feels,
I will not be who i am now.
What a mess.

A robot, i will not be despise,
and looked down upon.
Every single thing i do,
will be near up to perfection.
No humiliation and sarcasm will come in
on purpose to bring me down.
Isn't that great?

However,
i'm still a human being with a heart
no matter what.
I will not admit defeat.
Humiliation and hurtful spites
CANNOT pull me down.
Too bad so sad =)

2007-12-15T04:27:00.000-08:00

It's the last proper cell group meeting of the year, and well. i was kind of disappointed actally.
only now do i understand how the leaders and helpers felt when there are newcomers attending either the service or cgm. the members just treated the newcomers as though they do not exist.
frankly speaking, i felt very disgusted by this action. sometimes, even after being requested to try and talk to the newcomers, everything said just fell on deaf ear. when asked why they did not talk to the newcomers, their reaction would be, "i don't know what to say to them". they NEVER even try and talk to them! how on earth would they ever know there would be no common topic? friends, PLEASE WAKE UP.

i'm rather upset by the way u people treated my sister when she attended cgm. all of u just left her on one side alone, and chattering in your own groups! my heart was shattered. so this is how newcomers got treated? disgusting acts.

next, my mom asked me to help distribute some flyers to members of the cg. but hell. what did i get in return? the flyers dumped back to me! i'm not made of metal and i could get hurt! those flyers were printed out using my mom's own money! the money to set up the tuition centre is from my mom's own pocket! why did she ask me to give to cg members instead of other friends? bcos she trusted u people! how can i ever tell my mom that that's the reaction i got from my cell group members? u people toyed with my mom's trust! she's my mom mind u!

whatever. i care no more even if i'm going to get insults on my tagboard, saying what "shouldn't Christians be full of love" and whatever shiit! THIS is how my cg members are like! i see no fear in putting this up as all these are truth! gossips about me those who are guilty of the above wants. i'm used to u people gossiping anyway. Christians who gossips at every chance they have. ROTTEN MOUTH u have.

yes this may be bias accounts of mine but whatever i posted up here are true. otherwise why should i post it? if u people chose to live in lies and not face up this reality. TOO BAD.

2007-12-09T03:45:00.000-08:00

Hope it's still not too late to blog about the breakaway camp! Little do I know that the camp is actually Pastor C.K's first time organizing camps! Do not despite every first time as I dare to vouch with my life that the camp is a success. Despite the upsetting weather which obstructed many games and activities from being carried out, but the Lord never fails. Obstacles were overcame and many people enjoyed the games to our hearts' content! PRAISE THE LORD =)
Initially, I am very reluctant to go to the camp. I was thinking, " ain't all the camps the same? what difference would this camp make?" I WAS WRONG! It totally changed my mindset on camps. Though the camp was quite tiring, but nevertheless, God's presence still came and my physical tiredness were removed! woooots.
I was actually fearful at first too. What if i'm not welcomed in the group? What if i'm left out? My heart just felt like crying at those thoughts due to some traumatic experience when I was young. BUT NO. My group members are all friendly and nice. Friendships bonded very fast! =)
GTG. shall continue next time xD

2007-11-22T23:31:00.000-08:00

it's been a very long time since i last updated my blog!
on the process of decomposing now i guess. hah.
well, life's been pretty boring since o's ended.
not much is done.
felt like i've been drifting for the past one week.
so useless. but after yesterday's cgm, i've decided!
i want to do things that are meaningful meanwhile.

currently, working hard towards my vision of playing guitar.
somehow, i've received lots of negative feedbacks from people around me.
nevertheless, I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
the process of learning guitar is not easy actually.
fingers are hurt when pressing the strings, but i'm still loving it =)

2007-09-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

yucks. i've never really posted positive things. ;(

i shall post things more positive instead of al those stupid useless negative things that happen =)

sorry readers who read!

well, i've fallen ill again. AGAIN! hahaha. but look on the positive side!

fall sick now will means that i'll be more immune to the same germs and virus of the illness. =)

a blessing in disguise xD

2007-09-22T07:24:00.000-07:00

I am not perfect, in fact I'm very imperfect! But does that give you people the rights to backstab me and talk behind my back? U think it feels good to be backstabbed by people whom u treated as friends? Then u are absolutely wrong.

I know that people visit my blog usually just take a glance and sometimes leave a tag but never really read my entry. Thus I dare to really be a true me. In fact I believe that many people are too busy mugging to notice that I've actually submitted another entry.

Yeah, just like ZY. Many people would think of us as cheery and bubbly, happy-go-lucky but just that I do have a bad temper. Who doesn't have a temper anyway? But this is yet another mistake.

Appear happy. for the sake of people, not because we are really happy, but I'm starting to get sick of this lifestyle. Why can't people accept the true me?

An advice. If u want to be friendly and use harsh vulgarities to address people, then I rather not be your friend. Use it on people who can accept that please. Just because I requested u not to use that particular word on me as I do have bad memories behind that particular word, u went around saying I have attitude problem? Whatever. I live for my own accord and not to please u. Gossip and gossip. Beware of kharma my "friend".

As a few of my close friends ought to have known, I do not have a good childhood. In fact I do not have many friends. That contributes to one of my reasons of not knowing how to treat people properly. But ain't friends suppose to accept u just as who u are and when u did something wrong, give u advice and NOT GO AROND GOSSIPING AND BACKSTABBING U?
If u have problems with me, SAY IT RIGHT TO MY FACE instead of snooping sneakily around and backstabbing people. It can totally destroy relationships and a person's self-esteem too. beware. Problems with me, just tell me. I'll do my best to ensure I will not offend u again but please don't tell me that u've never offended anyone before.

I've already enought insults coming out from the mouth of my blood mother, I do not need any from my schoolmates and CELL GROUP people in which I thought I could really treat as my family. I was just being too naive perhaps, thinking that they can accept me and love me for who I am. I was wrong. I'm disappointed. No idea how long I can last wearing this mask of mine.

just what can I do to be accepted?!

2007-09-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

I'm so totally busted once again but I am pushing myself to study from now on.

I was totally freaked out by the prelims and the results. Gosh. The results is sure to to be a great disaster that can be on comparison with the recent earthquake. This is exageration I know since I've got nothing better to do. blah.

How I wish I'm not born in this era, so that I won't have to go through all these examinations. Yeah yeah I know some other jc and poly standards may be harder than what I'm facing now, but HARLOE. I complain due to my own incapability but yet you kept making yourself seemed like you are the worst off. zzz. you are insane and self-pitying. I whine a little bit and you. tsktsk. Talk alot. ahyo eh. Life is good and bad for me at the same time.

Back to topic! I hope to brush up my English by means of blogging. It's not that useful but that's all what I could think of. Is my sentence structure and grammar really that bad? someone lend me a shoulder to cry please ;(

I'm left with barely a month plus plus time left. It's not enough to do much so I made a pact with myself that I will not waste time on playing the computer and watching tv and doing other useless things anymore! hahaha. hopefully I can fulfil that =)

2007-07-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

what is going on? o level is slightly less than 3 months away and i'm still slacking!
this is so not right. when can i ever get the motivation to start studying and STOP SLACKING?!
this is so getting on my nerves. i feel like giving up!
guess i'm not cut out to have such long patience.
my head is like an empty shell, with almost no information on the subjects i'm taking.
that's damn shiitty la. how?
what's my life gonna be?
DEAD.
NOT YET. i won't give up the fight ><

2007-07-24T01:43:00.000-07:00

what good will you gain when you use take other people's picture and slander them?

there's a particular fcking bitch who got my friend's picture from her profile and said that she saw my friend at geylang. hah. how does she know? that bitch sure hang out at geylang lots then =) hang out at geylang, oggling at men, craving for their attention and at the same time looking at other girls prettier than you with eyes green with jealousy.

perhaps that's why did u chose to slander my friend? out of jealousy. she's pretty even without making whereas whether u put makeup or not, u look like u are part of cosplay. it is similar to seeing ghost in broad daylight?

and mind u sucker! geylang has got nice food don't u know? my parents used to buy food for me from there and those food are really ta ma de nice =D if my friend ever go there, she might be wanting to look for delicacies! don't be such a brainless person, slandering people.

pathetic soul. admit it. u are just plain jealous of her pure sweetness and beauty, envious of the number of friends and comments at friendster.

2007-07-19T07:13:00.001-07:00

the school celebrated racial harmony today instead of tomorrow as there will be a charity bazaar tomorrow.

all of us i believed had lots of fun taking photos with each other etc earlier. this is the last year together as class 4G and classmates, thus all of us made today a memorable one, a memory which will stayed in our hearts forever.

rarely will our class be so united, each and every single one of us wore the ethnic costume. the girls especially are more united as all of us wore indian costumes :D

took LOTS of photos, first time ever! first time taking so many photos at one go. of course, after the photo taking, i was dead beaten >< but alas, i shall miss those times ;(

it was also the first time i took photo with ruskin, cerelia, junyin, xiuhui and many others. this is indeed a wonderful day for all of us =)

upon graduating, i shall miss these times but nevertheless,
the photos shall be proved of the memories :)

2007-07-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

My secondary life is screwed up. why is it so hard for me not to panic and maintain a calm heart and mind? because of this, i believe my O' level chinese is gonna be a bad news.

another is my DSA to NYJC. though i did not played my instrument very well, in fact it was the lousiest i've ever played, i do not regret going there even though i kept having second thought even at the last minute.

upon entering the school campu, some pairs of eyes fall on me with looks of curiousity. unknowingly to them, this has made me feel very uncomfortable. known to be very not street wise, i have not the slightest idea where i was suppose to report. thank God. despite some people who looked at me as though i came from outer space, some treated me with warmth ;)
though i have no idea who are u, i would still want to thank u for taking me to my reporting place ;)

the CO seniors over there were very friendly and kind too. they talked with us, doing their utmost to assure us and our fears of being in a unfamiliar place just left. it made me feel as though i belong to NYJC. may there be a chance to go there in future.

hopefully, my DSA is a success though i think it's highly not possible.

all i need now is motivation and perserverance. many a times, i felt like giving up. but thinking of which, if i give up, it means that i will lose everything, even the possibility of success. it will then be a total failure for me. i will never know if i never try. i shall post this so as to remind myself too.

MY LIFE IS IN A MESS.

2007-06-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

I'm getting very disturbed by some books. those books talked about the "true" Jesus Christ.

i did not read the whole book, but just the summary of it. it really pissed me off. yeah. say that i'm biase towards my religion since it's true. for i LOVE to be a Christian. that book. wth. i wished i have the authority to burn all of it away. i won't say the title, since it's an insult to the author but rest assure, it's not Da Vinci.

the summary said that, the book illustrates the real Jesus Christ, who and what kind of person He really was and His relationships with women. that is so omg. can't Jesus have female disciples and friends? Jesus did not discriminate people that's why he even talk to prostitudes and so on. He came here not to play with the rich and high almighty people, but to heal the sick and bless them! zzz. the book. DAMN CRAPPY.

Plus, is the author really that old? he doesn't look as if he's thousands years old! for goodness. how the bloody hell did he even think that Jesus is an womaniser?! was that author by his side throughout? i highly doubt so. thus, this shows that all the stories were made up and proof-less!

how did the bible came about if that's what people may think. it came about because Jesus' disciples wrote about them la aburden! T.T not like some made up stories! it talked about miracles healing and etc. i believe all those. BECAUSE I'VE SEEN THEM FOR MYSELF. =D

so. authors. please write something that is proven of else go write stories la. zzz. nonsensical!

2007-06-14T07:12:00.001-07:00

everything just doesn't go well for me. i really feel like giving up. i have no idea how long i can last. i thought that this is the place where i can find comfort, but in the end, it's the places which cause my tears to flow. happy? u people have won. what have i done? i dare to say that i did not let u all down base on my conscience. for the past 16 years, i've never find comfort in any place. before i die, can i find this place to dwell in? can i have any friend to be by my side when i need u regardless of what i am facing? hard.

2007-06-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

WTF. u are just an outsider of this entire thing. and yeah. saying sorry and i don't wanna back off? HARLOE MISTER. u know how sui bian her bloody sorry was? for goodness sake. people smsed but does that means they mean what they typed?

and yeah. u are siding with her of course. don't think i'm blind. and one thing. i do have a very strong six sense. go on. side with her. make me the bad and evil. i tell u. i'm used to this kind of things. u are just one of her checkers on the playboard. all these happened to me before.

christians are not perfect. even as sisters, we can also have conflicts. just don't be a goddamn bastard yeah? side with her lo. think i heck care. go marry her then =) KNN. LIKE I CARE XD it's ur FORTUNE NIA.

unfair to me huh? i can be harsher. don't think i am who i appear to be like.

2007-06-13T05:08:00.002-07:00

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.././.../..../..../._...¡.........../_................
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stupid junxian ask me to post this for fun. siao tee ehh him xD but still. he's a very very good friend xD

2007-06-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

what u have done will be reflected back into heaven ultimately. as christians as u claimed to be, u should know that.

gossiping thing untrue about me? haha. i will make sure the truth comes to light one day u BITCHES. pardon me for being harsh but u people deserve it.

u have the guts to complain about me in the dark, why not talk about it infront of me?

if what u had been saying is true, i wouldn't have flare up, but EXCUSE ME. what u have said, NONE of it is true. i can use my faith to vouch for that.

having know me for so long, don't tell me u have no idea what kind of person i am. said that i force u to go home with me? ha. FORCE huh. EVERYONE knows that i am dependant on others, i need companion even to the toilet. but don't tell me that i always force u to go huh. which is total CRAP. i respect other people okay. now the nice part is this. i did not even ASK u to accompany me home! let alone FORCING.

if u can't even understand these basic english, i suggest u take up more tuition. THANK YOU.

2007-06-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

well. as of today. i have finally seen through your plots. thanks for hurting me ya? FUCKING BITCH! you have succeeded partially, sabotaging my relationships with my friends. what have i done to deserve all these? people discriminate u, to think i spoke up for u. people told me that u are the one who is causing all those discords, to think i still question them. well, it's U i ought to question.

i've question the wrong person huh! u happy la? that i nearly malign others. u goddamn bitch. but don't think u can make me collapse easily! i stand in God's presence and your stupid and childish evil plots will be reflected. whose on the losing side? u! i've got a clear conscience and mind so who cares. suay to be in the same school as u. KNS.

2007-06-01T00:42:00.000-07:00

Create your own Friend Test here

my newly created quiz!!! wahahahahha =X

2007-05-28T02:08:00.000-07:00

HOHOHO! MISS SANTA IS HERE! i'm being lame! bleh :x oh yes to all my friends. sorry for not updating for so long since i've been kinda busy doing nothing? teehees. so here i am! since i'm feeling kind of bored~ hahaha. :)

what special day is today? THE WORST EXAMINATION DAY of my life so far. i've never done a paper that is of such high standards before! and the preparation in which the school gave was hardly enough! other schools were like having REAL intensive and the teachers WENT THROUGH THOROUGHLY their papers but what were we doing? many of us were basically slacking and wasting time away. what did the teachers do? nothing. yes, nothing! well, not exactly, they gave us the answer and READ from it, instead of EXPLAINING! i can say, we do not need you to read, WE know how to read from the scripts. heh.

and because of all these, many of us went into the "freezer" unprepared. the hall was no different from a freezer! to think thought that it won't be that cold infront. how wrong was i. wrong judgement huh? sad-ed. ><

the WORST EXAM and the MOST EMBARRASING EXAM for me too. up till now, i still cannot believe what had happened ealier! how can someone write until the pen flew away from your hand and fell behind you? i found it unbelieveable myself and yet i did it T.T worst still, i felt that my first piece of essay was crap and since i was left with like an hour left, i redo the whole thing. the essays were to be written in the booklet and here's where things got idiotic. i wrote my whole essay on a fresh new page, after that i asked teacher what to do with the "wrong" essay earlier. she asked me to cancel and i did likewise. NOW, the other essay was a total crap too, i thought. and once again, i redo the whole thing. this time round, when i was cancelling the unwanted pages, the invililator shocked me. >< suddenly, her loud, thunderous (my exaggeration :X) took my attention. LOL. all she said was, " girl, make sure u cancel the right essay ahh". that was shocking for me. i thought invigilator weren't suppose to talk? well, what an experience for me. woots.

overall, paper one and two SUCK RIGHT TO THE CORE. ta ma de. how to score distinction like that. haiis. forget it. i've done my best and i shall leave the rest to daddy God. =) HALLELUJAH!

2007-04-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

i'm nice to play with?? hahaha. got a shock when aldrich appear for service! yesterday and almost all the service drained me out. why? because i laughed and played too much! =X
well, laughter is the best medicine isn't it? =) and life is just a short one, why not be happy? =D
i love the service yesterday! the bs before the service and the message preached was very useful! =)
i shall post it to remind myself and to share with any readers interested =D
THE EIGHT IMPORTANT MESSAGES!

no matter how difficult life may seem, we must never let our circumstances dictate our decisions!
you will either raise your standards to meet your expectations or lower your standards to match your performace
only the irresponsible are willing to sacrifice their future in order to enjoy the present
the portrait of your life is painted with the brush of your characters
you can never know a person by what they say, you meet them the moment you're willing to believe what they do
the productivity of any relationship is dependent upon the standards it celerabrates
there is nothing more dangerous than the moment you become a hostage to yesterday's comfort zone
whatever you refuse to conquer today, will become next to impossible to conquer tomorrow

all these messages have taught me alot and i hope to abide in future! =) i must do it!

2007-04-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

does true friends exist? will fairytales happen? i highly doubt so. just what is meant by the terms " friends" ? i have trouble understanding it. why? i have no idea. shouldn't friends help each other? shouldn't friends share weal and woe? isn't this some of the things that friends are for?

for the past sixteen years, i'm freaked out by the kind of life i had upon reflection. the primary school life SUCK. hopefully i can bury all the past behind. all those bad memories will only bring tears to my eyes. secondary life was slightly better. i have finally at least a few good friends. a blessing huh? not so much. some of them are friends who laugh when u fell, some are friends who thinks it's funny when u have done something embarrassing. but is their laughter of help to me in those times? NO! they have hurt me instead. all i wanted is friends whom i can trust in, but yet this is all i get. claim that i'm your best friend. i know, u know. now that "best friend" seemed to be just a name, without any true meaning to it. i longed for days in the past but i guess the past will only be memories.

u might not know it, but with your actions and everything, u are killing me. is that what u want eventually? my "death". answer me please. i'm sick and tired of everything. can things change for the better? we are graduating soon, can we even graduate with a wonderful memory? i do not wish to graduate with sadness and tears of unhappiness.

2007-04-13T08:06:00.000-07:00

is there really any proof behind " black friday"? i don't think so. it's all susperstitious things i guess. if this is true, the whole world may be in chaos! haha. i believe that everything is all due to their mindset. it's a wonder how powerful a human mind is. most people once were told that friday the 13th is an unlucky day, they will tend to imagine things that are bad, and becoming very pessimistic. all these are controlled my the human mind and brain. psychology. haha.

why do i say so? early in the morning, the stupid radio station is stating on how bad friday the 13th can be. however, i choose not to believe it and went school happily and cheerful. not many bad things happened. yes, i failed my physics test, but look on the bright side. i'm the highest failure! by failing, somehow i'm motivated to work hard! i must strive hard!! other than that, nothing much bad has happened and i hope that bad things won't happen. haha.

seriously, think of it this way. myths were that any bad things on friday the 13th is bad luck. but hello! bad things can be a form of motivation, a pushing force to encourage people. it all depends on how one look at the problem. one word of advice : always look on the bright side =D

live is just a short 80 years approximately. rather than living in a dark and cold world, why not open up and live a happy life? treasure life while we still have it =D

2007-03-29T06:15:00.000-07:00

the same type of rice give rise to different people of different characteristics. how amazing. all trained from NIE (i guess) but why are there soo many different kinds of teachers? one kind of attitude which some teachers have is. they are rude. we are expected to greet them and yeah, i did. almost all the time. i even bow down! but what do i get? nothing. really nothing. sometimes i will get a snort, or else, i'm just blanked! are we students invisible? is that what teachers should do? i love all the teachers who have taught me before since they are not like those people who are extremely rude. i bet their real eyes are on the top of their head! that kind of attitude i bet not only irks me but others as well. but thank goodness. most of the teachers are friendly.

there's a doubt in my head. since there are such teachers around, is civic and moral education really that effective? i don't think it works well since even teachers who are the one who will be teaching us the moral values are so stuck up. by greeting people is the most basic thing to do yet teachers can't even do it. are they worthy of our respect and should we follow them, using them as "good examples" ?

2007-03-19T04:44:00.000-07:00

i've made lots of mistakes, i've angered many people. just what is the best ways to make and KEEP friends, at the same time bonding a close relationships?

to me, having many acqaintance is not enough. i want true FRIENDS and FRIENDSHIPS. it's not an easy task, as we have to "cater" to different people, however, i've already done my best. why is it that i still made lots of mistake? how many people have i hurt? i seriously don't know. can i ask for forgiveness and be forgiven? i have no guts to tell them, as somewhat somehow, hurts that have been inflicted on me will start to surface, the hatred grew once again. it's hard to press down the hatred and replace it with love, i wanted so much to do so. this is specially for SHERYL. u wrote me a letter, but i typed out in blog. hope u will read and respond to me!

ANGELIN. i'm sorry that i've sort of vented my anger though i'm the one at fault. SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there's a tint of fear deep down. after many things have happened, i'm starting to feel scared, afraid that my love ones will leave me someday, without any warning. the pain of losing my grandpa has already shattered my heart. i'm scared somehow. may all the people around me enjoy good health and longevity!!

2007-03-16T04:21:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong to wanting to pour out my unhappiness to someone?
Is it that whenever I say something that happens to me, I'm trying to gain sympathy?
If you think I'm gaining sympathy or whatever crap, tell me. I'll not say anything of that kind to you alright. I just want some space. This for bloody hell, is my life. Stop breathing down my neck! I never say I'm in the worst situation and for goodness, compare with me? WTF!! compare compare for all i care. you have seriously destroyed my trust in you, by all those things you've said. i used to kept to myself. reason is because i feared that this kind of things might happen. it took me a long time to get to be open. yet, those things i feared happened once again.
u are ill, am i not? for bloody hell shit, i've been born with this fcking sickness okay. as u said, i might be irresponsible at times, i am! so what? nobody is born perfect! as a normal HUMAN being, i tend to voice out my unhappiness. is that a mistake? u can handle emotions well, that's what u are good at. i wanted that too! can't u see i'm learning?!
christian so what. sometimes i suspect if God is even there! i felt nothing at times even when i prayed!
get it? if all these hell were smooth, i wouldn't have even said all these!
i will not even have cried for hours!
i'm freakingly sick and tired. spare me please

2007-03-05T03:08:00.002-08:00

there are so many questions in my mind. why why why. why am i born to be revengeful? why is it that i found it hard to forgive people who has done me wrong? why is it so easy for me to bear grudges yet hard to bury hatchets?
i want to be forgiving. i long for that kindof sj but why is it that i've failed?
to those who have hurt me in any way, i wanted to love you once again. recalling back those memories of the past, my heart cries. i wanted so much for the things to be the same as last time, those happy times. i want to erase all memories of hatred.
sometimes and usually, i tend to say words harshly to hurt them. i regret very much. i want to throw away such a heart, a heart that is forever thinking about revenge.
to those who know i'm a christian, u may criticise me but not others who have done nothing wrong. christians have their bad times as well. they do not lead a perfect life. i know that my daddy god is always with me, however, sometimes during my darkest moment, i still tend to forget the fact that i've actually someone who cared. i've been doing my best to change my stupid attititude. i irk at the sight of my own behaviour too! i don't want things to be like that too. i wish i can be reborn into a completely different person without any memories of the present me.
lastly, i felt like a useless creature on this earth. why is it that i have no motivation to study? i myself know very well that i want to score well and get into a good jc in future. but why? why am i so lazy? why am i so stupid?
i know that no one is perfect, but why can't i at least be born more clever and wiser?

i wish that i've the answer to all these "why's".

2007-03-05T03:08:00.001-08:00

2007-03-05T03:08:00.000-08:00

mom, i've already done my best to respect u. i've even give up my pride, just to please u. admit to things i've never done. what else do u want? i'm sick and tired of everything. i don't know how long i can hold on. i might just explode any moment. if that day ever comes, do not blame me. i've been your obedient daughter for 15 years, done everything u want, but u were never satisfied. i came here with a purpose, not just s slave. i will make my own life meaningful myeslf. no one has the rights to control over it, even if it is you. we ought to honour and respect parents, but not LISTEN to u blindy. i am a human being, not a robot for u to control. if u want a slave, go buy a robot then. i hope u will understand all these. sorry mom, i've really tried my best. i sincerely hope u will be happy. i needed a break from everything. if i were to ever commit suicide die to what u have said, i'm sorry. i might not be as strong as you think afterall.

2007-02-27T03:33:00.000-08:00

a poem specially composed by me!! to daddy God =)

Oh Lord, daddy God
You are the King of kings
My saviour, my Lord
You took me away,
Saved me from the clutches of the devil
Washed clean and renewedI'm forgiven of all my sin and shame
Being showered with your love and care
You filled my once lonely, empty heart
B'cos of you, I'm whole againI
'm a girl
Made perfect in your strength.

Dear Lord, Daddy God
I'm proud to be your childLoved by your love
Filled with your care
Dearest daddy God
Thank You so much for loving me!
Sijie<3

2007-02-10T07:54:00.000-08:00

The motivational camp has not only motivated me, but has also taught me to appreciate things, love myself and build a high self-esteem, know how precious our parents are.

Parents usually are not used to expressing their love for us by simply saying "i love you". No they don't! That's when we might feel hurt and not felt the love from our parents. We might ask why. Why did they scold us and beat us ? They did it plainly just out of LOVE. If mom and dad do not even care, they wouldn't be even bothering about us! Think about this. We went home late in the night, but we are the ones actually making them worry. As a parent, they ought to worry for us. Afterall, we are their treasure! However, what most of us feel is that, they are getting on our nerves. We were all tired after a long day but yet they nagged when we reached home. B'cos they love us.

All the things mom and dad has done for us, we just take it for granted. Most of us never treasure them till the day we lost our everything. Who woke us up in the morning for school ? Who mend our bed ? Who washes our dirty clothes ? Who took great care of us without fail ? Our parents! If they were gone somehow, someday, all that mom and dad always does will never be done again.

Even as kids, we faced many problems. Friends betrayed and backstabbed u as if they never know u. Many many difficult times have past by us. But did we realise that, as most of our friends leave and forsake us, our parents were the ones who are ALWAYS there for us ? We just took everything for granted.

Like us, our parents found it hard to express their thought. Both parties would feel awkard if one just suddenly said "i love you". Instead, they scold us and might even beat us up. Why ? They love us. They do not want to see us falling into wrong way and only to regret it in the future. That's how parents are. We might even be like them someday!

Overall, I really found that the motivational talk very useful. I've grown up a lot in terms of mentality. And I just want to say thank you to Mr Garry (banana boy) and Leroy(car-burn =x)
and I LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD!

2007-02-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

i've enjoyed myself throughout the cross-country though i just melting under the sun earlier!

to my friends: sorry i've ps-ed u all unknowingly with susan!!!
i didn't realise anything!! sorry!!!

everything went on smoothly though i was feeling very weak after that!

next, sheryl, carissa and me went to eat "short mary gold"! with munchung!
hahas.. goodness!! i ate the slowest again =(

can i ever eat fast ?!

well well.. after that..

went home..
was just soo tired!
hope the next day i won't end up with muscle aches again!

after what munchung told me, i'm starting to not trust "ostrich".. in fact i might be hating him!
well well.. heck care!!!

2007-01-27T19:34:00.000-08:00

library.. what's so great about it now ? everyone are making noise, the committee members are just a figurehead.. some of us are doing more duty than the rest! why is this so ? isn't this suppose to be a fair one ?

we are here to perform duty and not to be used as servants!

we are all living in S'pore, a country that's is of equality! but why is it that you are so biase ?

shouln't all of us be treated equally ?

most of us joined is because of ms tay y.c! not of any other reason..

can the library committee be more useful and not just a name ?

yes, i made noise in the library, but the others are doing it as well especially those "high-ranked" people in the committee!

what difference does it make in the end ?

if only, the library could be back to what it used to be.

i miss those days..

and please.. for the next election, elect a chairman that is USEFUL and not just to sabotage one another.. for the sake of the library..

i really do not want to see the library in such a dire straits!

2007-01-21T06:04:00.000-08:00

A new entry after so long.. but it seems like many of the entry are not of happy news..
I've had a sleepless night yesterday.. okay, actually i slept quite well.. until i woke up from an excrutiating pain in my abdomen area.. i wasn't sure if it is gastric or not but i hope it will not be the pain which had previously caused me to be hospitalized because if it's the same pain, there is a high chance of me being hospitalized again! but i can't afford to be hospitalized as this is a o-level year! another very important year! because of that pain, i've not done very well for PSLE so that's enough!

All i could do now is to pray to Father God, hoping He will stop the pain, at least stop it until the last o-level paper.. no matter what, i could not raise the courage to tell my mom.. since young, i've never really told her my problem at all.. what if she says i'm a burden to her again ? i'm not as strong as i appear to! will i be able to withstand her scoldings ? i am unsure of all these.. all i yearn for is a understanding mom but i guess i won't be so fortunate in this lifetime..

I could only wish that my pain will stop for now and will be able to do well for o-level! is there anyone that can study with me ??? i doubt so.. hahas.. anyways.. shall just do my best!

2007-01-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

I'm now an O-level candidate.. With all the stress and everything.. Now, the construction just beside the classroom block has made matter worst! The lessons are not that easy to catch up due to the holidays slacking (oops!).. Now, the construction of a special school has contributed to LOTS of air pollution and gave us a hard time in school, struggling to have fresh air.. Can't they think for us ? We are studying and there, there are, building something just NEXT to the school buildings.. I don't want to die smelling stinky (quote from mr pek) ! Not only that, I'm already trying my best not to fall sick and yet the people around me are getting sick one by one.. Together with the rain, it's hard not to fall ill.. I hope I can last longer!

Now, remedial lessons are starting with effect from next week I think.. Meaning, CCAs will end later! Sheesh!!! Such a tough year for me.. I must pull through but just don't know why.. For now, I lacked the motivation to do my homework! I must FORCE myself to do homework now! IT'S A MUST!!!!!

2007-01-04T01:28:00.000-08:00

The second school day of the year 2007! Starting of a brand new year =)
Today, I barely or rather, did not attend any lesson at all!! Cool! But!!! I've got a busy and tiring day.. Right after morning assembly, the few of us started heading for the library to get an excuse letter to teacher, to inform them of our whereabouts.. After that, we return to the library to gather and get instructions from Mdm Ang.. Today is the new little juniors coming to tour the library! But I had used up all my energy playing I guess!! Playing with the juniors and the rest of the librarians!! And for the first time, we've got a one hour recess break! woots! At around 11.40am, right after the last sec 1 class's tour in the library, we rushed down to get ready for the concert item and to tune my gaohu and erhu as well.. There's a looonnngggg break until it is our turn to perform.. GOSH! I guess I AM tired.. cos.. I FELL ASLEEP! =X but.. sleep til so uncomfortable =.=ll Well, that's almost all for today! In short, though many pple suan me for my height, the day is enjoyable, so fun til i peng! LOL!

2007-01-01T01:07:00.000-08:00

heyo!!

a brand new year has began!

but..

my mom suspended my phone line!
wtf!

suspend then suspend =)

she cannot find me anways!

who cares!

2006-12-24T19:21:00.000-08:00

It's X'mas today! So I'm here to add another entry in case Sheryl they all got angry again for not updating..

First of all to that passer-by, thanks for your comments sincrerely and I am trying to change..
And yes, what u've said is true but can't u get the point ? If there's really that much hatred in me, I would have blog them all out! But I tell you, I do no live in hatred! I blog, to let others see what evil things others had done and to remind myself of them again.. Do u get the point ? And if u dare to leave comment, why not leave your name ? It's not easy for me to trust people again after all that has happened during my primary school life.. Now, there's God with me, thus, I've learnt to love and everything. But excuse me? Do u think it's very easy ? U don't know anything at all!

2006-12-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

Overall, the C.O camp was a nice and succesful one as compared to the ones in the previous years.. The games were cool and fun though the practises was very tiring.. The worst ever was the food!!! The food tasted EXTREMELY TERRIBLE!!! No choice.. Had to wait til nighttime for the cup noodles which is WAY MORE delicious than the food provided! =)

But sad case is that, there are some sore losers who complainede that they were suppose to win.. Is that really the case ? Not my business anyway but I really hope u will stop pushing all the blame to my friend..

These few days, I'm quite "guai" in a way.. Though I hope it's not too late.. hahas! I started doing my homework!! Though I have to be prompted by Harris =.= But, thank Harris!!! For helping me with my homework!! I guess I seriously need your help =P Homework is almost done! hahas =)

2006-12-09T07:03:00.000-08:00

sore losers.. why can't u just admit being defeated and push the blames to her ?
does making life miserable makes u happy ?
if that's the case, i suggest that you better go and visit a psychiatrist!
in any case, everyone knows that you have lost! so what's the point of all the false accusations ?
that will only make u lose face!!

to sheryl.. I'VE ADDED AN ENTRY! SO ARE U HAPPY ? =)

2006-12-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

aarrhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
i'm going mad from boredom!!!!

ok..the poem was just crap composed out of anger and meant no harm!!

hahahas ^^

i don't even have the slightest idea how to skin people anyway!

holidays is being wasted away just like that..
why am i not the batch that had just completed o-levels ??
sad thing is that..next year will be my turn!!

i'm starting to be horrified by the thoughts!
but i must do my best for all i know!
hahas..
not sure of the results but i WILL do my best =)

2006-11-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

i will make u regret being born..

i will skin u alive..

i won't kill u..

at least not yet..

i'll torment u..

making u feel as if u are in hell!

offend me and i'll never let it rest..

i have a revengeful nature

and that is the nature of every man on earth..

just whether u will let the ugly side of u come out or not..

hahahas..

just venting my anger and out came this "poem" XD

2006-11-21T20:48:00.001-08:00

You would seize the day for me.
Keep the night away for me.
Make the darkness light for me,
If ever, if ever you were here.

And if ever you were here again,
I'd never shed a tear again,
Or make the sunrise mine alone,
Or see a new sun shine alone,
If ever, if ever you were here.

But nothing is forever now I know,
The sunrise and the day will go,
As the new sun will burn to death one day,
To be with you where you have gone,
Where suns and stars have never shone.

If ever you were here with me,
Once more,
Just one more day to keep,
As darkness makes it's way to sleep,
To know that you've been near again,
I'd never, ever shed a tear again...

taken from a book called 'Amy Peppercorn' =)

2006-11-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

As I was lying on my bed yesterdaay night, my mind somehow went to thinking about next year, one of the more important year in one's life.. I felt like crying.. What if I can't make it to jc ? What if I were to fail my O-level ? Many many 'what if's came to my mind.. I got freaked out just by the thoughts.. If I were to fail, I don't know what will I do..

Another important event is SYF.. The songs are like the most difficult one ever to come in the past few years! Will we survive that ordeal ? Let's hope so.. At least let us be able to get a silver!
But our percussion is lacking of soo many instruments and teachers are very reluctant to buy as they cost a bomb!!

Life is not easy now that I do realise.. Hope I can still be able to get into the school of my choice and settle in the courses I want! XD

2006-11-12T21:33:00.000-08:00

Okays..shall continue now =) After we went to causeway, Curry and I headed straight back to school as we were running late! But the misfortunate happened to us! Sobs..when we alight at Khatib mrt, the weather was still quite fine.. Only a slight little drizzle.. But as we were reaching the school gate near the void deck, big, heavy drops of rain started dripping hitting our faces and everywhere! Some of the drops hurts! readers might be thinking why the misfortunate since we are so near the school gate.. Let me tell u.. WE ARE A BIG DISTANCE AWAY FROM SHELTER IN THE SCHOOL ARHH!!!! Somemore, some vehicles hindered curry from crossing and i waited for her getting even wetter than ever! I LOVE rain and water but that was really too much for me..hahas XD It took me HOURS to get dry and was shivering in the bus and at the Meritus Mandarin Hotel! Man! Wasn't it cold!

But.. Our efforts were paid off! At first we sort of have a short rehearsal on the stage before the actual performance.. Things were quite chaotic as everyone was lost at what was going on.. After that, our dinner/lunch came! finally! I was hungry by that time =x We were given chicken rice but after having it for the first bite w/o any gravy and chili, I feel like puking.. But thank god! Msm Teo soon came with the chili and chicken rice gravy! The food became very delicious! But..WHY WAS I THE ONLY ONE WITH RICE FULL OF BONES INSTEAD OF MEAT ?! Just as well.. I don't really like meat but..THAT WAS NOT SO FAIR TO ME!

After eating, we were to wait at a spiral stairs in the hotel for our turn to perform.. and that's where we went CRAZY XD We took lots of photo using Curry's hp.. Some were even retarded! We went to the toilet almost FIVE times in total! And the cleaner had sort of to chase us out as that was her cleaning time..

The people attending the celebration yesterdays were all physicians! How I wish I could end up like them in future! That shall be my goal in future! See if I can succeed! XD shall stop soon! This could be the longest post ever!

To liqi and limmin.. Heys..I've not been a great friend.. Hais.. But thanks lots for forgiving me! Friends forever!!!!!!! <3

2006-11-12T21:20:00.000-08:00

Wheee!!!!!!!!!!! after yesterday, i simply love to perform with my fellow after-rain friends!!! know why ?? we've gone crazy and nearly need to be sent to Woodbridge!! (jkjk! don't take it for real!) there were me, currysauce, sl, roti, charsiew!! but..sobs..fish couldn't go!!! waaaa!!!!!!!
the performance starts at around 8pm but we were suppose to reach by 3.30pm.. what's the point ? reached so early but we had to wait for ONE HOUR before even boarding the bus.. before that, curry and i went to causeway to eat and my royston said he's going there and thus to find me as well but know what ?? he can't find me after soo long! many people know i eat very slow and yet he still can't find me.. poor thing.. lols..
okay..WHY ARE THE EVENTS BEING POSTED BACKWARDS ? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME ? XD shall continue posting later perhaps! i'm busy now..sort of! hahas XD

p.s lm and lq!!! later shall blog abt u all in return of your posts! XD

2006-11-01T22:59:00.000-08:00

Why go to Mdm Ang and told her things i've never said ? don't u understand that blogging is a FREE way to express my emotions etc ? The worst thing ever is that u've said things to mdm ang leading to her thinking that i'm asking for trouble.. If u think u can make me cry for help, then u are absolutely wrong!! I grew up in and environment which i was being bullied daily! that has made me to become who i am now.. grown to not trust and be wary of people.. be doing all these to me, u think i will concede defeat ?? NEVER IN THIS LIFETIME! i did nothing wrong!

Mooncake festival then so be it! I never care so much anyway! u are the one looking for trouble! don't one to do if it's not the proj u want ? GET LOST THEN! who needs u ? learn to stand on your own feet! be humble! don't just flirt thinking people will give in to u! for god's sake! be more realistic! people! open your eyes and see carefully! don't walk like a blind mice like what i used to be or else u will regret..

2006-10-25T03:38:00.000-07:00

Suddenly, i felt lost.. where does this feeling come from ? i don't know.. in class,we've a wonderful time playing!to think we are able to come up with all sorts of games that can be ranked as the lamest game ever! are we really 15 yrs old ? i can't believe it! but all is like soo fun! loved the people forever!!!

after recess, i got a bit bad mood a again.. because i think is that i've ate food that i'm not suppose to eat and ended up with very pain tummyache(not the going toilet kind of pain!)..
soon, yx came and told us about the library project which we know about LONG AGO.. but..WTF! who the hell the people think they are ?? knn! we long said we want to do on christmas already but who knows ?? they insists on doing christmas otherwise they won't do anything! but who cares ? things WILL be bettter if that's the case! stucked up peopl they are.. forget it.. who cares so much about library anyway.. if not for ms tay and mdm ang, we won't be here already, to see other people's face..

thank god i've got my FRIENDS by my side.. they cheered me up with games all that.. damn cool to know them.. we don't need any stuck up people in ourlives anyway..

2006-10-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

Before exam, all i ever done was to study and study.. After exam, i though i will be happy enough to enjoy some days of.. Yes indeed I've a great time at Bugis with the girls ^^ including wondering around, getting lost(me and sheryl only) and taking neos.. All is great..

Who knows.. The unexpected has happened today.. marks for majority of the subjects were given and that was very disappointing but i've got no more regrets for i've done all my best and put my best effort.. good news is.. students across the sec 3 level mostly did not do very well.. thank god! i have also made some improvements i believe..hahs..

as i was writing this, for no reason, tears started flowing down.. all the years i've taken everything for granted.. once lost then do i realise the preciousness.. but all might be too late..in this year, there are many fond memories as well as memories that are painful and causes heartache.. the losing of my grandfather was one painful experience.. that's the first time i've lost the person i loved and respected the most.. tears fall in large droplets upon hearing the news that my grandpa had passed away.. that was a shock for me.. thus, i'm afraid to lose anymore of my friends and relatives.. yet now. hy had just told me that he might need to go back to HK forever perhaps and not come back.. i've felt lousy enough the whole day and yet this has to happen.. i'm not as strong as i appear to be! i love to cry lots but no one to cry to except my toys and pillows in the middle of the night! but what else can i do ? people will surely find me nothing but a nuisance! i wish i was never born in the first place! i simply can't stand anymore of these! just how much longer can i hold on ??? i am not trying to gain sympathy and i don't need any! this is my diary and i'm just writing out my feelings, my everything.. thanks..

2006-10-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

There is always trust..just that the trust varies..whether it is trust in depth of trust that even strangers have to each other.. Well..who cares so much now anyway ? Nothing much is so valuable now..

Apart from the stress for exams, I've got a wonderful time with Sheryl, Carissa and occasionally Rayner and Yihao too.. Hoyin and Zheng Kang just come here to play only..LOLs.. And of couse!! There is Mdm Ang too!! She is such a kind lady that gives the kind of motherly love.. I simply enjoy the days spent at the library during exam period as there was almost nobody.. I guess at times I simply love some quiet moments too.. Only regret is that we will surely not be going to the library much as those stuck-up comittees surely only allow their own friends in.. Such an ungrateful bunch.. Never even think of who got them in to the CCA in the first place.. This is not my personal opinion only.. Many other people felt this way too.. Don't talk so much on this kind of damned things now!!

Lots of funny things happened at Northpoint.. Especially the one involving Sheryl ^^ I shall not embarrass her by typing that out.. XD But one thing I missed most was my birthday party this year.. That's what we chatted earlier too!! Had a nice time recalling back the past =) Too bad.. Everything has changed and nothing will be back to the past again.. Too bad so sad but what can i do ?? hahas..

2006-10-11T04:28:00.000-07:00

There are many types of love but as a matter of fact, i don't know how to love my family, my friends and people around me.. I've hurt many of them again and again because of my past.. All because of that hateful past, I've grown to hate instead of love.. All because of the cold and heartless environment I've lived in for the past 6 years.. And thus I've nurture such a selfish heart.. Is there anyway to break the ice like structure of this heart of mine ??

There's the seven girls my best friends especially Sheryl and Carissa and some other friends since sec 1.. They are the people i call "friends" and not those people from my primary school.. I want to not break their heart like during lower sec.. I want to say thanks to all of you for being my friend and being there for me when I need it despite my wilfulness!

I want to be able to love my friends wholeheartedly.. I want to forget all the past grievances that some had caused.. I want to be free from all the thoughts of revenge.. But I just can't seem to forget them.. Can someone please teach me how to forget all those thoughts ?? I don't want to hurt people around me anymore.. seriously.. if readers choose not to believe it, then I've got nothing to say.. But all these comes from the bottom of my heart..

Signing off by me..

2006-10-11T02:07:00.000-07:00

from the moment i'm born, i am dead!! from that moment, where ever i am and what ever i do, i'm forever alone to struggle.. who can understand this pain ? when i want to learn to love people and trust them, i don't have the slightest idea how to do so.. i ended up hurting them instead.. i wish.. i wish i am dead..

2006-10-11T02:01:00.000-07:00

well.. i've done a terrible mistake.. i gave in to my anger to do something that is soo foolish.. i'm sory but it's too late for regrets..but what else can i do ?? might as well kill me dead for all i care and that i may be happier.. there's basically nothing worth living for in this world anyway.. so why not.. just kill me if u want !

2006-10-09T04:09:00.000-07:00

hee. ii'm SRB's daughter. LOL. ii'm curry sauce.

ii updated her blog but her template doesn't change.

so ii'm trying to add an entry to see if it helps.

Hee. okays. See Ya!

2006-10-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

To think I wrote wonderful things about mother during the EOY English paper 1.. thinking back about what you have done to me, i seriously regret what i have wrote..you are not FIT to be called wonderful!! now, i make it a point never ever to write anything that has got to do with mums! never ever!!! never mind about those personal attacks.. after years of that, i'm already used to that but you are still my mom!! i am so disapointed in you! and not the other way round!

you said you know me from inside out..but do u really know ? or was it just a wishing thinking of yourself ? from the start, you had NEVER know what i wanted!! and stop badmouthing things about christian!!! don't you know that there are many types of christians out in the world ? your don't!! so what makes you think you have the rights to say about other people's religion! you have no rights! so just keep your bloody mouth SHUT!!

from the moment my sister is born, you are just plainly biased against me! what have i done ?! even fools can tell that you are biased!! you know what ? it SUCKS! insisting that you are teaching me the right values of life but are you ? in fact, you are just plainly venting your bloody anger on me! since you dislike me so much then don't give birth to me in the first place! you think i led a happy life WITH YOU? nah..! and.. i never ask to be born on this planet! want to chase me out ? go ahead then!! i don't care a damn for this cursed house anyway.. and that will be a decision you will regret! you are not as indispensable as you think!

you criticised my cousins of having a shortgun marriage but you too!! i'm not afraid to say this out! ME AND MY SISTER WERE BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK! so what ?? we are still human beings! what centuries are u living in to discriminate those who have sinned ? have they not regreted ?? you did not even give people a chance to explain themselves!!

if not for the commandment that we need to honour parents, do u think i will still be a here ?? FAT HOPE!

2006-09-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

i am really very tired.. i need strength to carry on! but no matter what, i must not give up on my studies! even if i only have 1% chance to pass, i must work hard and persevere till the end! hopefully, at least i can get a pass in all subject =) i believe i can do it!!

all my friends! i wish all of u the best of luck for the eoy exam! jiayou! XD

2006-09-28T06:49:00.002-07:00

Renew me and give me strength.. i am really tired but no matter what, i must persevere!! this is the last chance to prove myself and to see what is my standard.. i really need the power and strength to continue.. i must force myself and push myself harder! i mustn't fail any subject.. i must plan properly on how am i to go about studying too! i believe that i can get the visions i need and what i am to do.. i believe i can pass! i must not let my family down and i must shine for God! i must get into jc of my dream! i must and i must.. but in order to succeed, i will need God to help me.. i can't manage alone.. i am.. really.. too weak!

2006-09-28T06:49:00.001-07:00

2006-09-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

whee!!! got one crazy guy gaobai to sheryl..hahas =) and she is like so cruel.. reject right in the face!!! and her expression was like so awkward!!! caused me to laugh till nearly fall to the floor =.= Into details is that sheryl and i went to mac to study.. but we were sitting soo comfortably.. apparently.. was because we've got the sofa seat at the back! with no one to disturb us until chad came along.. but not really consider as disturb as he's liven up the atmosphere.. as studying for hours were really killing me.. but can't help it.. no matter what, i must at least be promoted!

before the start of the "comedy" show, we were back at school.. today really sucked! why ? because earlier, we just had our physics spa for o-lvl! and now.. i'm on the phone with sheryl.. hahas =) and she just told me some thins that are not meant to be heard.. eeyer..lols.. back to school.. =.= spa was held right after recess!!! so stressed up.. everything was a failure AT FIRST but soon after.. i sort of got the feeling to know how to do =) praise the lord!!! but.. i failed to do the do the calculation right..hais.. and IT'S FOR O-LVL!!! never mind.. still got chances =)

2006-09-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

hmm.. just had tuition from yong qing earlier.. he's really smart! can teach almost anything under the sun!! and my com is finally fixed!! it turned out that the internet connection has got problem.. the connection is under wrong name, under a name with low connection.. hahas.. but wheehee! eveything is solved! thank God!!!!!!!

and oh no! tmr is spa o-lvl! feel like it's time to cry again ;( but never mind! i believe i won't fail too badly as i have faith! hahs XD

people of 3j,h and g !!!!!!!!!!! jiayou for tmr's exam!! good luck!!

and hais..just saw that hong tat at coffeeshop =.=

2006-09-22T22:01:00.001-07:00

this entry is to the person who is trying to spam me or what ever.. i'm sorry if i disgusted u with what i've done.. i AM not born pretty.. i AM ugly.. my results are not good.. i have a bad temper.. but i am trying my best to change.. really.. how well do u know me anyway ?? do u know what i had undergone in the past ? have u ever ponder why i am like this now ?? u knew nothing!!

2006-09-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

2006-09-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

Just went to Yio Chu Kang for C.G meeting.. i was actually very excited at the thought of a combined meeting, but it turned out quite fun ^^ just that someone(s) actually show attitude.. who the hell they think they are ? have gang or what so ever think i'm scared ?? LIKE REAL!! I have my Heavenly Daddy with me and the Holy Spirit by my side.. my guardian angels u believe too!! thank you!!! for protecting me XD

Thank you for everything..for making my day a wonderful one.. had a fun time studying as well as playing at Mac with Carissa, guowei, Willie and auntie Angelin =) seriously.. they are one of the best friends i treasured.. of course.. i treasured God the most since He's the one making all these possible..

P.S. IF U HAPPEN TO THINK THAT I AM BEING TOO HOLY OR WHAT SO EVER, PLEASE AUTOMATIC SHOO OFF.. CRITICISE ME ALL U WANT.. I DON'T WELCOME U ANYWAY.. AND BY CRITICISING, U ARE SHOWING PEOPLE WHAT A POOR ATTITUDE U HAVE HUH.. ^^ only idiots would do so huh.. only one think to round up.. EVEN IF I OFFEND THE WHOLE WORLD, I WILL STILL SAY I LOVE TO BE IN GOD'S PRESENCE AND THAT I AM A CHILD OF GOD.. TRY CURSING ME AND THE CURSE WILL BE BACK TO CURSE U =) NOT MY BUSINESS THEN.. XD

2006-09-21T06:12:00.000-07:00

Why am i such a stupid person ? why can't i ever get anything into that stupid brain of mine ?? why can't i remember formulaes, remember equations and why can't i be more witty in a way ?? I simply despise myself for being so useless.. guess that's the reason why i am not so loved by friends and family.. not many people will realise that i'm gone even when i died one day..

today, there's math extra lesson.. the lesson was nice and meaningful to me.. i understand eveything teacher has taught.. but if i were to given the same question that is being twisted and turned, i don't think i will be able to solve anymore.. i must really practise.. but can i meet someone who can be my friend and at the same time, spare me time to teach me studies ? i don't think that kind of person will ever appear for me.. my friends are too busy.. they simply don't have time for me except when in school.. but is that what i want ? i want to have true friends.. someone like sheryl.. sheryl can only chat all that with me and understand me much more than others.. but too bad we are not able to help each other with our school work.. i felt to useless and stupid..

only someone smart will know what the hell i was typing.. as i purposely mess things up.. they are not listed in an orderly way.. hahas =) understand me ? can! if u can beat sheryl in that XD

2006-09-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

i really feel very insecure.. why does all these feelings exist ??? they are scary..
and just how can i be motiveated to study without stopping ??? i don't want to fail any of my subjects even add math.. but i'm scared.. i really wanted to be more smarter..Father God !!!!!! You are all i can really depend on lerr.. help me and save me!!!
i am scared.. i want to be a fully strong person be it physically or emotionally.. can i do it ??? i believe that i can !!!! XD i must !! but just who can i seek help from for my studies ??

2006-09-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

I'm now in a really confused state.. i suddenly felt so lost.. just where am i and what am i doing ?
i really hope for someone to reach out to me and help me.. i need the right person.. just that have i met that particular person ? exam is coming but yet i don't fully understand what teacher has taught us..why am i such a useless person ? not a wonder quite some people don't like me.. i don't have looks nor figure nor brain.. i'm just someone without anybody who truely understand me.. thanks to sheryl and carissa for being there when i need.. but i seriously need more than just that.. do i know what i need and lack of ? i don't think u will understand it.. i'm used to being alone most of my times.. i cry to myself though i appear strong.. but i can really cry very easily.. i cry not for fun, is that i'm really very sad.. i'm alone.. imagine of being whole day alone.. or being alone for 6 years! how can anyone withstand it ? too bad i did.. i learnt not to trust and to be "strong" and be not so polite.. just who am i ?? i really hated myself, the current me.. but if i don't be who i am now, will i be discriminated against ? will i yet be another outcast ? will people keep pointing fingers at me ? i don't know! all i know that.. I DO NOT HAVE A CHILDHOOD... AND I HAVE A COLD HEART TRYING TO UNFREEZE..

2006-09-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

whoo. played till like siao ytd! man.. was i tired.. but the forfeit part was the scariest yet best part ! whoever lose will be pinched on the cheeks at first, but after that, some other players will have to tie the loser's hair anyway they want.. EVEN THE BOYS!!!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!! XD
after that, went to northpoint to eat ice-cream ^^ yummie!! (zj's treat =D) of cos.. i coughed till my lungs are like gonna burst when night time came.. poor me ;( we took some neos too =) not bad but that stupid zj look so ... =.=''

upon reaching home, i ate my dinner which consists of cury and that made my sickness worsen and nearly lose my voice ;( there's a price to pay for all good things huh.. hais..

and i just realise that I'VE NOT DONE MY HW YET FOR GOODNESS AND DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TESTS ARE COMING UP !!! damn crap !!!! shall stop here! byee and don't miss me >.^

2006-09-15T17:27:00.000-07:00

arghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!so many days didn't add entry!!!!!!! wheee... mummy don't scold me =X is not forgot but is that i fall sick larhh..hehes.. partially your fault too ^^ pass to me =.= but never mind! i'm now not feeling so bad ^^

a few days back on wed, (today is sat) we did some cip which i detest at first.. we were required to collect old materials from the neighbouring blocks and give them to somewhere, someplace.. i dislike all these..but after wednesday, i changed my thinking.. guess is because that i'm in this class.. XD a lot of people realise that my group had not gone to the meeting place, so they went to check.. upon seeing all the things we've collected, they immediately helped us take them to the meeting place. oh my.. simply love them to death.. i wanna say "THANKS LOTS!!!" to them!

after that, me, hoiyan and carissa went to the school library to wait for sheryl as she's the in charge and need to be the last to go.. we ended up using the computer and not knowing that sheryl had already came and time is up to close library! how fast good time flies..

at home, zj called and we chatted for like about almost 3 hours.. quite a long time huh..but i've learnt quite a lot of things from him and he's my 'teacher' now.. hehes.. who ask him to be such an expert in co.. know quite a few things about him too! hahas.. but overnight, i fall sick ;( sobs sobs..

2006-09-12T05:24:00.000-07:00

Hmmm..today have co practise for the marsiling block party as well as the usual group practise..but man! was that the worst yet fun! for the first time in many months, to think i lost my temper after seeing 2 of my friends (juniors) being bullied! given my past character, i would have beat the bully up into pulp but, thank Father for helping me control myself XD i've only scold that bully (yet another junior =.=) until he nearly cried.. too bad.. i'm the type of person who no matter what will help my friends in need, moreover was that little egg (the victim) called me for help.. and i was in bad mood at that time because i've no gotten a break for the whole day.. all i've gotten was only work and work!!! that is driving me mad !!!!!!! but i pray to Father that He will help change the little bully to someone better and p.s. many people have already complained about his problematic behavior.. may God bless him.. Amen ^^

2006-09-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

My mom want u to burn as she want only one particular song.. it would be a waste of money to buy the whole album only for one song and it's not like jay is her favourite.. Don't help then forget it.. I guess u are not the only one with the album.. And..i'm not as rich as u.. Can get what u want anytime, anyday.. I'm just someone normal with family of not much income.. Won't waste unneccesary money on unneccesary items.. Thks for letting me know u can't help me burn anyway..

2006-09-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

i didn't know babies were soo small till yesterday !!!!!! everything of them were like peas !!!!! soo cute !!!!!!
well..went to visit my cousin and her new-born yesterday..=) but..the baby is like soo troublesome to take care..her name is gonna be jun1 yu3.. a unique name ! junyu cried when she is hungry..but..my cousin had already breastfeed her for more than half an hour ! a hungry little girl..hahas..simply love her..my mom and aunt said we were quite the same as in when i was still a baby..we cried very often whereas my sister don't usually cry..
after all, babies are still babies ! if they don't cry, how to know that they are hungry or what..hahas..shall stop here now..=)

2006-09-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

oh my.. why do i feel so sad ?? guess is because of what i've just heard.. i really cannot stand it.. eveyone are human beings on this planet.. are are equal.. but.. why some people yet treat their own 'friends' like dust ? can't they spare a thought for their feelings ? they can't ! but never mind.. the problem is they expect people to obey them like the people are their servants ! even God who has got the highest authority did not treat us like servants ! what rights do they have to treat people like servants ?! who the hell they think they are ?! THEY are the freaks of freaks !

oh ya.. if you want to 'comment' on others about their attitude or behavior or whatsoever, PLEASE for heaven's sake.. check THEMSELVES first ! if they are as perfect as God, then they can say what ever shiit they wanna say for all i care !

moral of this story : say people say yourself !

2006-09-05T07:51:00.000-07:00

Wahh!!!! just startd playing audition earlier =) but oh my.. was that hard to play! just couldn't catch up ;( guess i should practice more huh ^^ if anyone know how to play audition, please do teach me !
how to see my level ? is there level anyway ???

2006-09-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

wheee !!!!!!!!!
some of my fav pics !!!!!

2006-09-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

Went to Carissa's house to do English project yesterday.. was quite late in the afternoon..but luckily there's Sarah in our group. we are able to get things done very quickly.. Sarah is so good !! XD

Of course, having to rush there, Salad and i were like hungry ghosts searching for food.. Guess Carissa's parents knew it huh.. They bought chicken rice for us to eat ! That was like soo delicious !!! How come no one told me about that stall ?? Next time must go there and eat after school ^^

After Sarah left, we played some games and watch tv.. then went to Northpoint..hahas.. Not a bad day actually =)

2006-09-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

the pictures we took during the shi zi lu kou ^^
some are very funny though.. XD

2006-09-04T00:16:00.000-07:00

linked me people ! whoever u are ! i don't care ! this is my first own blggy with the help of mel (thks a lot!!)
will continue to update this baobei blog of mine =)

2006-09-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

hello hello ?? this is si jie !!!!!! my first blog entry !!!!!!!! can see ???