.Wednesday, October 18, 2006 ' 6:35 AM Y
& i walk alone
Before exam, all i ever done was to study and study.. After exam, i though i will be happy enough to enjoy some days of.. Yes indeed I've a great time at Bugis with the girls ^^ including wondering around, getting lost(me and sheryl only) and taking neos.. All is great..
Who knows.. The unexpected has happened today.. marks for majority of the subjects were given and that was very disappointing but i've got no more regrets for i've done all my best and put my best effort.. good news is.. students across the sec 3 level mostly did not do very well.. thank god! i have also made some improvements i believe..hahs..
as i was writing this, for no reason, tears started flowing down.. all the years i've taken everything for granted.. once lost then do i realise the preciousness.. but all might be too late..in this year, there are many fond memories as well as memories that are painful and causes heartache.. the losing of my grandfather was one painful experience.. that's the first time i've lost the person i loved and respected the most.. tears fall in large droplets upon hearing the news that my grandpa had passed away.. that was a shock for me.. thus, i'm afraid to lose anymore of my friends and relatives.. yet now. hy had just told me that he might need to go back to HK forever perhaps and not come back.. i've felt lousy enough the whole day and yet this has to happen.. i'm not as strong as i appear to be! i love to cry lots but no one to cry to except my toys and pillows in the middle of the night! but what else can i do ? people will surely find me nothing but a nuisance! i wish i was never born in the first place! i simply can't stand anymore of these! just how much longer can i hold on ??? i am not trying to gain sympathy and i don't need any! this is my diary and i'm just writing out my feelings, my everything.. thanks..