.Wednesday, September 20, 2006 ' 5:52 AM Y
& i walk alone
I'm now in a really confused state.. i suddenly felt so lost.. just where am i and what am i doing ?
i really hope for someone to reach out to me and help me.. i need the right person.. just that have i met that particular person ? exam is coming but yet i don't fully understand what teacher has taught us..why am i such a useless person ? not a wonder quite some people don't like me.. i don't have looks nor figure nor brain.. i'm just someone without anybody who truely understand me.. thanks to sheryl and carissa for being there when i need.. but i seriously need more than just that.. do i know what i need and lack of ? i don't think u will understand it.. i'm used to being alone most of my times.. i cry to myself though i appear strong.. but i can really cry very easily.. i cry not for fun, is that i'm really very sad.. i'm alone.. imagine of being whole day alone.. or being alone for 6 years! how can anyone withstand it ? too bad i did.. i learnt not to trust and to be "strong" and be not so polite.. just who am i ?? i really hated myself, the current me.. but if i don't be who i am now, will i be discriminated against ? will i yet be another outcast ? will people keep pointing fingers at me ? i don't know! all i know that.. I DO NOT HAVE A CHILDHOOD... AND I HAVE A COLD HEART TRYING TO UNFREEZE..